Career Couch: When Office Colleagues Have Conflicts
March 13, 2010 by admin
Filed under Career News and Advice
Q. You recently had a big argument with a co-worker. Though you managed to end it, you still feel uncomfortable around this person. Should you try to discuss it or pretend it never happened?
Chris Reed
A. If, after a few days, your co-worker is acting as if nothing occurred, it’s probably best to ignore the situation, says Damon Beyer, co-author of “The Right Fight” and a management consultant with Booz & Company in Houston. “If it is clear, however, that your colleague is still upset and feeling animosity toward you, it’s best to raise the issue,” he says.
Focus on your work together and on continuing to meet established time frames and deadlines, says Susan F. Benjamin, a communications strategist in Shepherdstown, W.Va., and author of “Perfect Phrases for Dealing With Difficult Situations at Work.”
Keep the conversation civil and respectful, Ms. Benjamin says: “You could say: ‘I know we had a difficult situation arise last week, but for me it’s over and I really want to focus on this project. Does that work for you too?’” After that, your conversations should establish or re-establish your respective responsibilities so you can move forward, she says.
If you want to discuss what happened, try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes, Mr. Beyer advises. You know why you were angry or defensive but may not understand the other side.
“You aren’t saying you were wrong; you’re saying ‘How could we have avoided the conflict?’” he observes. “It’s important to have a genuine interest in trying to understand what caused it to happen.”
Read the original article at NYTimes