How to deal with a boss that keeps comparing you to others?

April 20, 2009 by  
Filed under Workplace

4532 asked:

How do you respond to a boss that constantly compares you (negatively) to other workers and himself? For example, “when I was managing, I had this place completely in order”. “so and so is running the show fine over there and he doesn’t have your experience”. Should you suck it up and let it go or should you tell him that you are getting tired of basically being told you are a horrible employee? Or something different?

Best Answer:

You’re in a bad spot and it is certainly effecting your state of mind negatively. First, look at what he is saying to you. Is he saying that you are not doing a good job, or not doing the job up to his standards, or does he just not like the way you get things done? It is all about his perception of your work and it may or may not be a true account. You can be sure that he may be telling others about his thoughts about your work and this is not be good for you.

You need to sit down with him when he is calm, and say “I understand that you do not think I am performing up to your standards. What specifically can you point out to me that I can improve on in your eyes.”

This may shed some light on the biggest problems that he sees and give you tips on what you may need to improve. After he gets done talking, ask how/what you can improve with his help, his advice or some outside training programs. There has to be some sort of training program out there that may help get you on track.

If he simply does not like you, then you need to find another way. If the conversation goes really bad, try talking with his peers or other managers in the company and see how/what they do to make him happy. Most managers have just a few items that must be done their way for them to know you are doing a good job. Find these out and you will do great.

Also, go to the bookstore and get any book about “dealing with difficult people” and read it tonight. Learn what kind of personality he has and learn some skills on dealing with his perceptions and communication style to bring him around.

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